Negative self talk can be toxic to who you truly are. It can have a negative impact on the choices you make and how you go about your day. But if we ignore it then it could result in really bad thoughts causing major anxieties to a point that we completely shut down. So too overcome negative self talk as a creative we must acknowledge it and call it out for what it is.
As a creative person I tend to compare my work with others. I have caught myself second guessing my work and even worry about what others think. Even to the point of not putting myself out there because I feel like I will be judged. It can be brutal sometimes but it is real for me. I think with years of listening to others say don’t gamble your life, why take a chance, just work 9 to 5 for someone else, it is to hard to work for yourself let someone else do it, you cannot make money doing that, why fail and do that to yourself, you start believing them.
Why do I even care what others think?
Why do I compare what I do with what others do?
Is it jealousy, self doubt?
If it makes you happy then to hell with everyone else. Do what you are passionate about. There is someone out there that will love it too. You just have to find your people.
When friends come to me with all these thoughts I immediately encourage them to tune others out. I talk to them about how to overcome negative self talk by giving my opinion as to how. I make sure I list positive points about them and share how important they are too me. So why are we not as kind to ourselves?
We have to practice what we preach.
It is easy to tell others what we need to hear ourselves. We expect others to take our advice but yet we do not take it ourselves.
Did you ever say you are your worst critic?
Whenever I feel a self doubt rear its ugly head I acknowledge it and then think to myself where did that thought resonate from? What is causing this moment? Is this thought helpful or harmful? Would this thought effect me in a negative or positive way?
Questioning your thoughts can put things into perspective. Think about it, wouldn’t you ask your friend these questions if they said they are experiencing negative self talk?
When I have my Elaine moments (Seinfeld reference) and identify my negative inner voice by her name “Negative Nancy” I try to be compassionate with her and not self destructive. There is a reason Negative Nancy appears and becoming aware of that reason is crucial to shutting her down. Changing perspective by understanding why negative Nancy appears can help provide possible solutions to the negative blurts.
For me what helps is:
- Identify my inner critic by giving it a name (Negative Nancy)
- Call it out and take your power back from Negative Nancy
- Think about the good things you have achieved.
- Remind yourself that you are unique and deserve everything you set your mind too.
Be inspired by others not threatened.
Enjoy your life because your life, is your life, no one else’s. Don’t measure yourself by other people successes. Everyone had to start from somewhere. Each person in this world has his or her own path to life. What you do with yours is your choice. Create your path by doing your thing and creating what you want to create from it. Stop looking in a looking glass and instead look in the mirror. You are the only person you should compare yourself too.
Do what makes YOU happy!
You have a lot to offer because there is only one of you. Your experiences can help others. Look at your strengths and remain true to your values.
Be happy with where you are right now and what you have. At least accept where you are right now in life. If you want more then it is up to you to work hard and get it. Take small steps toward your dream and remain focused on what you want. But do it for you not to be like anyone else.
Your journey is your journey.
Write down and become aware of what you do have at this moment and include things you are passionate about, the people who make you happy, no matter how big or small. If it makes you smile then write it down. Be grateful.
You will always face a negative Nancy in life. Don’t let them suck the energy out of you. Walk away and try not to get involved in people like that. It is one thing to have that voice in your head that speaks to you in that tone but externally we do not need those types of people in our lives. You have the power to turn it off just like you have the power to walk away from toxic friends. Surround yourself with positive people who encourage you and just make you feel good about yourself. Tune out the rest just like you should tune out negative Nancy as soon as she rears her ugly little head.
You are worth it!
You deserve happiness!
Have a great day.