How to Face Fear by being Vulnerable

Just by showing up you gain courage by facing your fear of what is to come. What this means is you may not know the outcome of what you walked into nor have the control of what is going to happen next but you had the courage to show up.

No matter how hard we try we all are vulnerable in some way. When you go through trauma the walls start to appear to help protect your heart from the pain you are feeling.

But if you think about it does it really work? Can you truly protect yourself from pain?

If we want to grow we must let go of some of the wall so we can experience these emotions. That is just part of life. I am not saying break down the walls just so you can feel pain. However, breakdown the walls so you can feel love again. The healing can begin when you open your heart. Yes pain can be in the distance but so can love. Why continue to live in fear?

We are not perfect, we have many imperfections, and we are human. And it is human nature to have these feelings. But the truth is you are enough. You are perfect in your own way. Your imperfections bring out your vulnerability. And vulnerability is real and beautiful.

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”

~Brene Brown

I know putting yourself out there, not knowing what will happen in return creates a sense of vulnerability but this is something I too am working on. It took a lot of courage to share part of my story within my blog posts because it made me feel so vulnerable. But in order for me to heal I needed to just put it out there. I know I am not alone with these struggles and flaws.

It is okay to be vulnerable with imperfections. I am also a good person and I have found the courage to change.

Building a barrier to protect myself has been helpful when I needed it. Assuming this barrier needs to remain just limits me from growing and be true to myself. Caring what other people think of me should be non existent but it still affects me. To feel vulnerable we must welcome emotions.

People seek approval to feel loved because we all want the same thing out of life. You need to learn how to love yourself and trust in you. The rest will follow. And at the same time, you will be faced with people who will not give you their approval nor like you and that is okay, you just need to move on. Those people are not your people.

Understand why you feel this way. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself why do you care about what others think.

Bottom line it is your life so live it!

We have all experienced pain in our lives. But we also have experienced joy and love through our vulnerability.

It reminds me of a time when I wrote a letter to someone that I hoped would heal our relationship. Get past childhood drama and build a close relationship. In the letter I poured out my heart and soul longing for approval by this person. Well instead it backfired and the letter was misinterpreted from the very first line. They did not even read the whole letter because they could not get passed that the letter was typed. Immediately they were on the defense figuring if I did not take the time to handwrite the letter then I was not sincere.

Times like that you need to realize you cannot control what others think of you. No matter what was in the letter it was irrelevant. This person was not ready to let you in. They have their own barriers up to protect themselves from being vulnerable. You cannot control the outcome but instead be proud that you had the courage to write the letter and open your heart. To this day it still bothers me that we are not close, and that they did not want to forgive and rebuild our relationship. But I do realize I cannot expect everyone to be on the same wave length as me.

I am who I am because of what I went through but who I am today and tomorrow is all on me.

It took a lot of courage to send the letter and years before I was able to ever write a letter like that. Yes I do wish it turned out differently but just because you are ready to heal others may not be. You just have to give them time. You must move on.

I am trying to live with no regrets. Forgiveness from others is not something I need to focus on but instead forgive myself for the part I played in that role and forgive them for their part.

The way to transform your life is by facing your fears, maintaining courage, keep stepping outside of your comfort zone, let go of things you cannot control, be open to forgive, accept change and be okay with vulnerability.

You are worth the effort. It is time to live your live and love with your whole heart.

~ Brene Brown

Have a great day.

Doreen

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